For Parents Only
The GracePlace Mission is…
To partner with parents to raise up a generation of Jesus-followers who are more devoted than the present generation of Christians!
Our Values
1. Strengthening families
2. Adult Volunteers who love kids
3. Reaching out to the community
4. Teaching kids to serve/give
5. Teaching the great stories of the Bible
6. Teaching kids to study/apply the Word of God
7.. Teaching kids to worship/pray
8. Teaching kids that God loves them
9. Teaching basic beliefs of the church
10. Parents/kids feeling loved and cared for by the GracePlace volunteers/staff
11. Giving kids many opportunities to make a decision for Jesus Christ
12. Making excellence a high priority in all we do
“HE CRIES WHEN I LEAVE HIM”
How to foster healthy independence
As Susan drops Nathan off at the church nursery, the 6-month old reaches for her and bursts into tears. He sued to coo while being rocked by nursery volunteers. Now he acts terrified. Should Susan let Nathan cry it out, or do his cries represent a legitimate need?
Symptoms of separation anxiety are a healthy sign of parent-infant attachment. “It’s as if the baby were saying to the stranger, ‘I really know the person I love best—and it’s not you, ‘” writes Dr. Nancy Balaban in Learning to Say Goodbye.
When you’re walking away from a screaming baby, it helps to know the crying is normal and that it will fade over time. Dr. John Bowlby, who did groundbreaking work on the experience of separation in infants, describes attachment as a condition to be cherished, and dependency as a condition to be avoided.
Positive Steps
So how does a parent foster attachment while easing babyhood dependence? Here are three helpful ideas.
- Begin with brief separations—30 to 45 minutes in length. Rather than both you and your spouse leaving, have one parent or a familiar friend or relative stay with your baby.
- When you leave, tell your baby why you’re going and when you’ll return. She will learn that goodbyes are only temporary and that she can rely on you to return. Avoid long, drawn-out exits. Instead, be confident in your need for a break and the benefit your baby will receive in learning that you’re dependable.
- Until your baby outgrows this phase, accept his need to express displeasure at your departures, and take him with you whenever you can. Keeping your sense of perspective—and humor—will help. Know that your presence matters to this little person, who loves you more than anyone else.
Healthy Independence
When a deep parent-child attachment exists, it’s more likely that the parent will want to help the child develop his matchless abilities and attributes. In his book On Becoming a Family, pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton observes, “The purest sign of attachment is the ability to detach at appropriate stages in the child’s development…If he is overwhelmed even by the most caring parents, opportunities for testing out capacities in himself may be missed.”
In just four years, a child moves from womb to cradle to twin bed. The ability to detach is something each child can learn with a parent’s loving care and affirmation. With time and patience, you’ll find that you baby’s attachment will form the secure base from which she becomes better acquainted with the world around her.
~Taken from Christianity Today, Birth to 12 Months, www.christianitytoday.com
TODDLERHOOD—Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions
Separation Anxiety
Q: I just can’t cope with the thought of leaving my 18-month-old in the church nursery. Is it damaging to leave him and let him cry hysterically? Or should I stay with him in the nursery until he outgrows this separation anxiety?
A: This is a very common reaction for a youngster that age. In fact, it’s common up to 3 years of age. Your child wants you as a full-time playmate. Maybe not at this moment, but within the next six months, you need to start weaning him away from that constant attention, just as you weaned him from nursing.
A common mistake made by parents of very young children is the fear of the consequences of permitting any kind of frustration to the child. For example, if the child doesn’t want to go to bed, then someone will have to rock him. Or if he doesn’t want to stay in the nursery, then Mom can’t go to church, and so on.
You’ve got two challenges. One is what’s best for you, and the other one is the reality of the nursery workers who can’t stand the screaming. Like I said, within six months, you need to put him in the nursery, say good-bye, walk away and let him cry it out. Those tears will not hurt him. After you’ve done it once or twice, he’ll quit doing it. To not do that means that you will yield to the manipulation of a youngster who is saying, “Do it my way and if you don’t, I’ll scream.”
Generally speaking, you are not going to hurt your child emotionally by doing what you need to do, and then coming back to get him. When he discovers that you always return and that the nursery workers are not going to hurt him, then he’ll settle down.
~Taken from www.focusonyourchild.com
